Wishcasting Wednesday

This week wishtress Jamie asks us "What do you wish to read?"

Oh, what don't I wish to read? Like many, many students, my current reading materials have primarily been assigned texts or research materials. Over the past semester I have managed to read only one book that has absolutely no connection to my academic studies. Only one! I know that I often feel guilty sitting down and paging through an unassigned novel during the school year. My mind plagues me. Are you sure you should be sitting around like this? You should be practicing. What are you doing? Your portfolio is not finished. However, the end of the semester draws near, and I am not taking any classes this summer term. That little voice will go mute.


This summer I wish to read the small pile of forsaken books that have accumulated on my nightstand. There are four books, including The Rest is Noise by Alex Ross, that have been patiently waiting all semester for me. This summer, I plan to read them all without a trace of guilt.

Merry Writings!

She has been living a life...

... of little note. And I am perfectly fine with that.

I would love to say that I have not posted in over a month because I have been overwhelmingly busy with amazing projects and adventures. The truth is that I have been underwhelmed with an endless series of small projects and extra hours at work. A paper here...a jazz chart there...another paper here...a lesson plan there...a lot of piano practice everywhere. I have begun assembling my Phase 3 Portfolio (pre-student teaching requirement), which can be a bit challenging at times. I sometimes struggle to put completely musical, aural, and affective learning experiences into formal, academic terms.

But the end of the term is near- May 19th will be here soon!

It has rained 6 out of the last 9 days. This is something I would do!
Image courtesy: imagecache2.allposters.com

But it has not been all monotonous. Last weekend I had the good fortune of performing on a friend's senior recital. She played very well, and it was a pleasure to be a part of her project. I have been busy transcribing jazz charts for the Famous Graves, which is totally new territory for me. Until recently I have done very little transcription work.

Also, my Muffin and I have found an apartment in the city! The Muffin surprised me by wanting to scope out studio apartments instead of 2 bedroom units. We found a tiny & charming unit that will have us a lot of money- money that can go toward paying-off student loans and growing a savings account. I actually like the idea of downsizing a lot. Keeping only what we really need or love. And, I think the best part of the apartment is that it is only a few blocks away from my sister. Endless slumber party!


In more somber news, my Muffin's grandmother left us this past Friday afternoon. The 93 year-old matriarch had been ailing for years. Her passing brought a deep sense of relief to my mother-in-law and my husband. Friday was beautiful here- unseasonably warm, full of sunshine, and the gentle breeze carried the scent of spring. From the stories that I have heard about her, I found it rather fitting that she made her quiet and peaceful exit on the most lovely day of the year.

Peace too you all.
Merry writings.

The Contributors

It seems that I was ready for this semester to be over just days after it started. I have struggled with maintaining focus and motivation. In my pause this past week I have done a little self-analysis and reflecting. Although I am not sure what the exact cause of my restless is, I have some ideas of what my be contributing to it.

Contributor #1: Outside of my instrumental lessons, I feel that I have had only one class this academic year that was insightful, truly interesting, and made me feel better prepared to be an educator. While there have been some interesting moments in other classes, the majority of the time has felt like space-filling busy work. Too many hoops to jump through...I am beginning to feel like a circus poodle.


Contributor #2: I have spent so much time focusing on the hoops that I have developed a micro-perspective. I have spent too much time spent focusing on my "doings" that I have neglected just "being." While I was productive during the lull of the past week, I also spent a whole lot of time doing whatever I felt like- even if it was nothing at all. I had coffee with Molly and Rick. I spent some time with my brother on Saturday. I visited my parents yesterday, mostly hanging out in my Mom's studio marveling at her craftiness and chatting. I lost myself in design blogs and the Ikea website- daydreaming about a new apartment and what I would do if I actually had money for decorating. Sigh... I almost forgot how wonderful daydreaming can be. I did crossword puzzles, went running, and took time to sit and be still with my thoughts. Lovely.

Contributor #3: I have not been minding my temple. I did some serious damage to my body with drive-thru during the two weeks of opera insanity. Although I have fairly healthy eating habits, they have not been stellar lately. You know you have mistreated your body when you develop an indescribable craving for brussel sprouts and polenta for dinner. I must be more mindful of what I am putting into my body. My new food mantra is honor your temple. This not to say I will not indulge in a slice of cake from time to time- just to be more respectful of myself on a daily basis.

Contributor #4: Related to minding my temple- I do not move enough. I began running again a little over a week ago, and my body has definitely admonished me that for not using it the way it was once accustom to. I must make time to run and practice yoga like I once had. I sleep better, my mood is improved, and I am *gasp* more focused when I have sufficiently moved about.

Contributor #5: My Muffin and I need to move. Our upstairs neighbors are obnoxious to the point where they have affected how I feel about my home. Home should be ones sanctuary, where one can rest, feel at peace, and commune with loved ones. Sadly, my heart sinks a little when I see their vehicles in the parking lot. In their defense, the ceilings are a bit thin in this building. However, it is no excuse for being incredibly loud (music, people over, or other adult activities) until 3 or 4 a.m. on a Tuesday. Sigh... Our current apartment is cute and functional. I cannot complain- everything works in the apartment. However, I think we need an apartment where my Muffin can have a workspace that is not in the bedroom. I think it can greatly affect how one rests when you know you have a pile of work sitting at the foot of the bed. I would like a little corner all to myself for reed making, practicing, and crafting. I don't need a whole room, just a nook. I think a two-bedroom would be perfect. I don't care it the second room is super tiny- as long as my Muffin can fit his desk and bass within I am happy. We've starting looking for new places in the city- Yay! However, we are where we are until the end of July. Only 4 1/2 more months- not too bad.

Contributor #6: My impatient nature. I am not a stagnant person. The progress of classes, my career, my finances, and my living situation has made me feel like I have been treading water for the past 7 months. I am staying afloat, but I am certainly not going anywhere. I know that change will come in time. We will move this summer. My Muffin will start new work. I student teach in September. By this time next year I will be polishing my resume and searching for jobs. Change will come, and I must learn to be patient. It will be worth the wait.

Merry writings.

Taking Pause

I was going to write a post about posting, but Molly not only addressed the subject already, but in a much more eloquent manner than I would. In short, I second Molly.

Before leaving the posting subject, however, I must mention that I visit and read the blogs because I have found the writings to be interesting and thought provoking. It is a pleasure to share thoughts and experiences with the kindred spirits I have been fortunate to met through blogging. I cringe to think that the authors of the blogs I frequent feel guilted into posting- for me. It is not about me- or any other reader. It is about you. Post at your pleasure. I will always be glad to hear from you, whether it is daily, weekly, or once a month.

Onward...

The Marriage of Figaro closed on Saturday, after a weeks worth of well done performances. The singers were phenomenal, the orchestra well prepared, and the audiences were very responsive. All in all it was so worth the exhaustion. I would do it all over in a heart beat. Yesterday evening, I completed the final essay exam for the literacy course. Opera over. Literacy Strategies over. I have reached a lull in academic activity. For now. I intend to savor the pause.

Picture courtesy tjnorris.net

As I left the exam, my eye was drawn to the sky. Well, my ear drew my eyes upward with the honking of at least 100 geese flying overhead. Their black silhouettes floated against an aquamarine sky stippled with streaks of pink and apricot clouds. Behind the birds the moon glowed like a juicy slice of cantaloupe. Though it was a rather frigid, I just stood still on the sidewalk and watched every last goose float across the evening sky.

I cannot remember the last time I took the time to watch the sunrise, or the rain fall, or the leaves blow in the wind. I feel that I have become so consumed with school and my "doings" that I am letting simple, beautiful moments pass by unnoticed. Take pause. That is what I need to do. Take a single moment each day. Pause.

I think I shall go for a moonlit walk. Breath some cold air. Look at stars. Smell the scent of late winter- the scent of spring creeping in. Pause.

Merry Writings.

This Story May Explain Why...

...oboists get a reputation for being a tad bit neurotic. My desire to make it through The Marriage of Figaro only physically fatigued, but mentally unscathed...totally shot to hell the past few days. I do not wish to come off as a whiner, but I was prepared for this opera through and through. I knew my music inside and out, and I had crafted several very nice, reliable reeds to boot. Everything was going pretty well, even though I had a mountain of projects in progress and I fell a bit ill mid-week. All was manageable. Then the weekend came.

I think it all began to deteriorate at Friday night dress rehearsal. A kiln with a profuse gas leak caused the entire cast and orchestra to be evacuated from the arts building mid-rehearsal. Being the type of people we are, those of us in the pit orchestra quickly packed up our instruments and headed out into the 14 degree weather. We were outside for only 20 minutes or so before being allowed back in. I was a wee bit concerned, although not too concerned, since I have a well insulated case and outer case for my oboe. And, it was only 20 minutes, right?

As the rest of the rehearsal progressed, I felt that my intonation was a bit off from its usual tendencies. I thought to myself, the reeds did not like the quick shock of cold...they will be fine. So I thought, until I opened my reed case the following morning to teach my Saturday lessons. Gasp! The six nice, playable reeds I had were either cracked or the blades had pulled apart from each other. Four were not salvageable, as they were cracked. The other two I was able to coax into working...somewhat. I had three other reeds in my case that were fine, but they were old practice reeds. Totally unsuitable for performing in public, nonetheless a three hour long public performance.

I have never been in such a dire reed situation before. I usually have a handful of good practice reeds, several solid performing reeds, and a couple of reeds in progress. With the mountain of projects due last week, I did not have any reeds in progress. After the Saturday dress rehearsal concluded I hunkered down to work on new reeds. Nothing. Four hours later I had produced nothing. Every reed I made had horribly unbalanced intonation. I was on the verge of tears. It was time to walk a way. Embarrassed and full of shame, I called my oboe professor for help. Can I buy a pair of reeds? I have not bought reeds in eight years.

This is how my brain felt Saturday night... a splatter of frustration and anxiety.
Have I totally lost it?

However, my professor did not sell me finished reeds. Instead, she graciously and wisely provided me with a pair of initially scraped reeds, and assured me that I had not lost my ability to make a good reed. She reminded me that I have been making reliable reeds for years, and that everyone falls prey to a bad reed patch from time to time. Also, making reeds under pressure while frustrated usually results in poor quality work. Sigh....I know.

It is Sunday morning, and the opening show starts in a few hours. I am playing on my brand new, very cautiously prepared reeds and the intonation is horrendous. The C was flat, the B was uber sharp, the Bb was slightly less sharp, and the A was so flat it was half way to Ab. Seriously! I could not bring myself to tinker with my reeds any more. I decided I would have to compensate with my embouchure. Needless to say, my lips and jaw were very tired at the end of the performance. However, with all drama and nonsense aside, the opening matinee went very well.

It is now Monday morning. I am in my weekly oboe lesson, and I am recalling the horrors of yesterday to my professor. She hands me her oboe with one of my reeds, and I began to play. It is beautiful....AND IN TUNE! The problem is my oboe...

The excursion into the cold did my poor oboe in. The best news: my oboe is not cracked, which was the first thought that surfaced in my mind as I played on my professor's horn. After a thorough search, the possibility of a crack was ruled out. However, I can not get a proper seal on my upper joint. Multiple pads are unseated, which means most of my keys are leaking. This accounts for the lousy intonation and response I have been struggling with for the past 3 days. Good grief!

Early this afternoon I took my oboe into the repair shop to visit Fred, an incredible Milwaukee area instrumental repairman who is particularly talented at servicing double reeds. Chances are I will not have my instrument back for the Tuesday performance, but I do have a very nice Fox plastic resin oboe as a back up.

The lesson learned: Be more thourough with my diagnostics. It is not always the reed...or me.

Merry Writings!

And So It Begins...

Dress rehearsal week has finally arrived. Over the next week the cast and pit orchestra will spend over 30 hours practicing and rehearsing for The Marriage of Figaro. I am a mixture of excitement and apprehension- excited to perform, nervous about staying on top of my class work. I am trying my best to channel the calmness and wellness I will need. I even bought a package of refreshing & totally delicious mint and tarragon tea to help soothe my senses. However, the experience and the final production are completely worth the stress and exhaustion. There are few things as grand as opera.

What are you pouring your energy into this week?

Merry Writings!

February Full Moon Dreamboard

Merry Full Moon!

Although heavy cloud cover caused me to miss the largest full moon of the season, the forecast is for clear skies throughout the night. Also, the moon has brought unseasonably warm weather with her. I am rather tempted to wear my peep-toe shoes ....


During this lunar phase my Dreamboard includes just a few elements. I have a very busy few weeks ahead of me, with all of my usual activities in addition to Marriage of Figaro dress rehearsals, performances, and the final exam and projects for the accelerated course is in less than three weeks. The situation lends itself to stress, so I incorporated a tranquill pool of water. The water represents the calm and focus I will need to be channeling over the passing days. Stress causes unease and often opens oneself up to illness. The teapot represents the wellness and balance I will need to cultivate. The chickadee image returns, as I always dream to be an optimistic seeker of knowledge and truth.

Merry Writings!